


Childish Logic

by impish_nature



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, baby pines, stan meeting the kids, utter fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7932532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impish_nature/pseuds/impish_nature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stan meets the 5 year old twins for the first time since they were born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Childish Logic

**Author's Note:**

> Number 4 of the charity day! Was hoping to get a fic in between these but it's been a bit hectic! ^.^

Stan’s first proper meeting with the kids was an eventful one.

He hadn’t expected five year olds to be _that_ imaginative.

Or perhaps he just hadn’t been around kids in a long time that weren’t grumbling about being dragged on one of his tours.

Either way, he had not expected the bubbling barrage of energy that he had received from the pair of them.

That and who would have known kids could be that cute?

He hadn’t even expected to see much of them. When he’d first entered the house the pair had been off doing their own thing.

He’d ignored the pang that little Dipper caused, head firmly stuck in a book reminding him painfully of Ford when they were young. But it was a fond sight, as was Mabel running around covered in copious amounts of glitter and shouting gibberish at the top of her voice.

Well, it might not have been gibberish but suffice to say, Stan had a hard time understanding her.

All they had done was pause for a few moments to stare at him in wide eyed shock as he was introduced before going back to what they’d been doing before as if the interruption was something totally normal in their little lives. They’d been interested in his gifts – a few stray Mystery Shack stickers and other assorted items that he assumed were ok for kids, that he had found luckily lying in the back of his car.

Stan didn’t mind the apprehension to talk to him, he probably looked quite daunting to them. He’d decided to go for some dramatic flair, wearing his best work clothes and his joking eye patch. He’d thought they might like it, but maybe he’d tried a bit _too_ hard.

Instead he’d ended up sitting down with their parents over a cup of tea and hearing about all the things he’d missed over the years while they asked about the shack and how that was going. He’d met them once or twice before but pretending to be his brother to relatives was always more exhausting than tourists and strangers. But he’d only been able to see the kids the once when they were born, the highlight of his life as far as he was concerned, and the itch to see the little twins again had been fizzling ever since.

He promised himself he wouldn’t get attached.

He just liked the thought of there being more twins in the family. That was all it was.

It had nothing to do with hoping that they wouldn’t follow in his and Ford’s footsteps.

Nope.

Not at all.

And then Mabel had to come over with a _present_ for him.

A small hand had tugged at his sleeve making him jump slightly and glance down. He hadn’t even heard her approach, which was weird because she’d been so _loud_ only moments ago. Not to mention she was bright, all that glitter was making her glow. He almost wanted sunglasses around her. So the fact that she’d snuck up on him was very disconcerting.

“You alright there, sweetie?”

Small hands had just held themselves up to him and so without even thinking he picked her up and put her on his lap. He was sure he heard the click of a camera go off but chose to ignore it as he felt more than saw another small set of eyes on him from the doorway Mabel must have entered by.

He’d only put her on his lap, that wasn’t him gone soft.

Sure he hadn’t put up a fight.

But no one would know that just from that photo.

There was a sudden explosion of words out of the girl a few seconds later, a speedy little buzz of sentences that made him jump again. He had no chance of keeping up with her boundless energy and he ended up glancing at her parents instead to make sense of it, face pleading with them.

“I think she wants to show you something.”

“Oh right.” Stan glanced back down at her bright smile, front tooth missing and all. “Why didn’t you just say that?”

“I did!”

“With a lot of other words in between that I didn’t catch then.”

Mabel pouted at him before shoving the piece of paper up into his face. “Here!”

“Bit close, hun.”

“Why don’t you let your Great Uncle have it and go play some more with Dipper?”

“Fine~”

Stan shook his head as the paper vanished from sight, finding its way onto the table before him as she slipped off his lap and ran away to grab Dipper’s hand and whisper excitedly as they left them to it again.

He squinted over the drawing that she had left in front of him before picking it up for a closer look.

Just like her words- he had no idea what this was meant to be exactly.

And he had the horrible sinking feeling she’d be a lot more upset if he didn’t appreciate this one for all it was worth.

“What is this supposed to be exactly? A lion? A monkey?” Stan turned the page upside down a few times, trying to identify the shape before him. “I mean, it’s also black and red so I shouldn’t get my hopes up in understanding it, I guess.” He turned the whole page over, hoping that the little kid had written something to him to at least give him a clue.

He didn’t know what was harder. Code breaking Ford’s journal or figuring this one out.

“Shh, she’ll hear you.” Her mother giggled at the cute drawing and his obvious befuddlement, hitting his shoulder as she went passed to check on the kids.

“Yeah alright but, what _is_ it?”

“She’s five, Uncle Stan, it’s not meant to make sense.”

Stan rolled his eyes, trying to stop the smile that wanted to quirk up at the endearing voices of the twins’ parents. He liked that, they deserved that. “Guess so, it’s great I guess then, if art doesn’t have to make sense.”

“ _Stan_.”

“Alright, alright. Real little artist. Happy?”

“Better.”

They sat and talked for a bit longer before the kids found their way into the room again, another hand tugging at his sleeve to grab his attention.

This time it was Dipper.

And unlike Mabel, who didn’t seem to mind that he hadn’t known how to respond, Dipper wanted answers to _everything_.

If Stan didn’t know better he really would have suspected he’d gone back in time and met a much younger happier Ford than the one he had last seen.

“Do you work with a lot of animals?”

Stan raised an eyebrow at him. “Were you listening in earlier?” The small nod let him know the two had been sneaky. He liked that, he could appreciate that in kids. “Yeah, we have lots of animals at the shack! They keep me occupied a lot, let me tell ya.” Stan winked at him, conman smile on his face as Dipper’s lit up and he scrambled to sit in the large chair beside him.

There was another click of the camera. Stan wondered where their Dad was hiding the thing. No doubt it would be a nice photo though, him and Dipper sitting as if they were having an enthralling conversation, the older man leaning in to tell him something riveting.

Again, Stan told himself that the photo didn’t matter. So what, he was conning the small child? No one would be able to tell what they were talking about from a photo.

“Do lots of people come to see?”

“Oh, sure! They come from all over just to see one of our shows. Miles and miles, they come!” Stan puffed his chest out, gesturing wildly around them. “No one gives a show like your Great Uncle, you know.”

“Can we come see?” Mabel’s voice was high pitched from the doorway as she scurried forwards, arms outstretched again for Stan’s lap which he gave her without question.

“Can we join in?!” Dipper’s question came before he could answer, quick and excited and both of them buzzing with excitement.

“Uhh, sure, of course you can! You really want to join in?” Stan raised an eyebrow, disbelieving that the two of them could have actually wanted that from what they’d heard earlier. The quick enthusiastic nods told him otherwise. “Alright, I’ll hold you to that, but when you’re older! You can come see and join in when you’re older, OK?” He leant in close, pretending to whisper though their parents could hear, still laughing quietly in the corner. “It’s a lot of fun working with them animals, but they’re a handful as well, you know? I don’t think your parents would be alright with me letting you near them yet.”

“Aww, but when can we?”

“I dunno.” Stan looked over to their parents, eyes crinkling with amusement. “What do you think? When do you think is old enough?”

“I think twelve!”

“Mabel, it’ll be ages until we’re twelve!”

“Well then, twelve it is!” Stan bit his lip to stop himself from laughing at the small sulking child, arms crossed in front of him. “But I’m sure you’ll be allowed to come visit before then.”

Dipper narrowed his eyes at him and repeated his own words back to him. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Stan grinned, holding out his hand for Dipper to take. “Well if that’s the case. Let’s shake on it. When you’re twelve, you’ll come and visit the shack and help me out there. Deal?”

“Deal!”

A small hand took one of his fingers, shaking it up and down energetically.

Stan wasn’t entirely sure what to make of them in that moment. These two bright dots lighting up his world within an hour or so of talking to him.

He was pretty sure he could feel his heart melting…which was weird and sappy and he did not approve of that!

He was _not_ getting attached.

“How did you lose your eye? Was it in a show?” Mabel prodded at his cheek below the eye patch, curiosity taking over. There was a small reprimanding ‘Mabel’ from their mum but Stan waved it off. After all the eye patch was fake, and he was sure the kids would learn soon enough that sometimes it was better not to ask personal questions to people you had just met.

Stan shook his head, chuckling as he leaned in again to his new conspirators. “No, I used to be a pirate.” That lie was an easy one, ready to spin a tale as long as his arm if they asked more questions on it.

There was a bubble of giddiness settling in his chest as he spoke to them, their happiness was infectious. It wasn’t like lying was unusual for him but this was a different feeling entirely. Normally all his lies were spins to get people in. You take a tour, you make up an idiotic story that people lapped up and at the end of the day the money you make is as good as the stories you told.

This was…different.

This was telling a story purely to entertain.

And damn was it nice to have an appreciative audience that clung to his every word instead of gullible tourists who’d believe anything or teenagers who really didn’t want to.

There was an audible gasp from the pair as they turned to one another gleefully.

“He works at a circus _and_ used to be a pirate?!”

“Wait, what?” The words filtered in slowly, Stan finding himself yet again lost to the whims of the two children before him.

“Our Grunkle’s cool! Did you own a parrot? Is it part of the circus now? Do you have a wooden leg too??”

Stan put his hands up to stop them from babbling further, though he was almost distracted by the nickname they’d given him, which made him pause for just a moment before snapping back to the questions at hand. “Hold it, hold it. What did you two say?”

“What did we say about what?”

Stan sighed. This was going to be difficult. “I heard the word circus.”

“Well, yeah.” Dipper gave him a look like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re a-one of those!”

“Yeah! One of those!” Mabel chipped in, both of them obviously forgetting the word they were looking for, or had yet to learn it.

Neither of them thought they needed to elaborate though.

“Nope, sorry kids, you’ve lost me.”

Dipper huffed, scooting himself off the chair and darting out of the room.

“Uhh…did I do something wrong?” Stan looked to the parents for help but the pitter patter of little feet let him know that the boy was on his way back already.

“One of _these_!”

A book was thrust into Stan’s hands, almost tumbling out again if Mabel hadn’t grabbed it too to hold it closer to him.

“One of these, one of these!” Mabel giggled, pointing wildly at the page.

“Ahh.”

Stan looked up at the dawning realisation on their father’s face.

“They’ve become quite enamoured by a cartoon circus on TV.”

Stan blinked, looking back down at the picture the twins were trying to show him.

What met him was a tall mysterious looking man in a red top hat. He wore a black suit, and a red bowtie and his arms were stretched wide for the audience before him, obviously riling them up for the show they were about to see.

Stan had to give it to them, no wonder they’d gotten the wrong end of the stick.

“ _Oh_. Sorry to burst the bubble, kids, but I’m not a Ringmaster.”

The crushed little faces that met him made his heart twang.

Why on earth was that the one time he’d decided to be truthful?

Maybe because unlike anyone else, he didn’t want to get their hopes up and have _them_ be disappointed in him too.

“You _don’t_ work at a circus?”

Stan winced at the warble in Mabel’s voice. Could she be any more heart-breaking in that moment?

“Hey now, don’t look so upset. I mean you can go to loads of places to see a circus.” Stan looked down surreptitiously, gesturing them closer as he spoke in a secretive tone. “What I do is a lot more interesting, let me tell you.”

“See I work with _magical_ creatures.”

The twins gasped again, eyes lighting up and slouches vanishing as they sat up to watch him with rapt attention again.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, all our creatures are one of a kind.” Stan nodded down at them as if every word was true. “We even had a- a unicorn for a while!”

Mabel stared up at him in awe. “A unicorn? What are they like?”

“Tricky to handle but if they like you, they’re a friend for life.” Stan grinned at her, beeping her nose and making her giggle. “In fact, I bet they’d love you. If we ever get another one I’ll be sure to tell you and you can come meet them.”

He could practically feel her buzzing with excitement at him. “And uhh- we’ve had-” He didn’t know why it was suddenly hard to form words around them. Perhaps it was because he didn’t want them to be disappointed in him again.

“Have you had any aliens?”

Stan blinked, eyes on the boy, eyebrows furrowed and waiting patiently for an answer. He nodded again, face completely serious. “They come and go as they please but they’ve been known to visit us for the occasional show now and then.”

“I knew they existed! Max at school said they didn’t!”

“Well, who do you believe? This Max or your Grunkle Stan?” Stan couldn’t help beaming at them.

He really liked that mashup of ‘Great Uncle’. Probably because it sounded far less formal and more like a relative you’d like to visit instead of being made to visit.

“Grunkle Stan, of course!” Mabel chimed in, tilting her head to look up at him before she threw a hand over her mouth and pushed off of him. “I forgot something!”

The paper that had been previously in front of him was swiped off the table as she vanished, along with the book now clasped to her chest.

Dipper stayed next to him, asking a thousand questions that he had to be quick to answer every time. Some were easy, some were a guess at what the boy wanted to hear but considering the kid hadn’t looked at him like a kicked puppy again he took it all as a win.

“Finished!” Stan turned in his seat as Mabel reappeared, the paper back in hand as she tore towards him.

This time he was prepared, arm outstretched for the drawing before she could practically launch it.

He was learning.

He grinned down at the addition to the piece, this part much more obvious. A large black and red suited figure stop beside the indistinguishable creature.

“Heh, look at that, you got my eyebrows.” He couldn’t help it as he leant down, pointing to the animal and looking at her parents defiantly, a twinkle of mischief gleaming. “So, my eyes aren’t what they used to be, sweetie, what’s beside me?”

Mabel gave a long suffering sigh at him. “That’s obvious! It’s you as a circus animal! I thought if you spent all your time as a- a Ringmaster then you’d like to know what it was like to be one of the animals!”

“Oh.” Stan could hear her parents snickerling getting louder from the corner. So much for winning that round. Now his jokes about ‘what is it’ seemed more like he was insulting himself. “Right, of course! That makes total sense.”

“But now, ‘cause you’re not a ringmaster…I guess it’s an animal you should have at the…the…”

“The shack?”

“Yeah! You have one of a kind animals.” Mabel pointed at him and then at the drawing. “You should have one of these.”

Stan snorted, shaking his head. “Alright, if you say so.”

“I do! I’ll let you keep that to help you find one.”

“Much obliged.” Stan ruffled her hair, getting a squeal of happiness as he stood up, picking her up with him. “Well it looks like I’ve got an assistant already. Welcome to the Mystery Shack, sweetie.” He looked down with a grin at Dipper’s upset expression. “Oh? What’s this? Is it another assistant?” There was a sudden yelp as Stan swooped in, gathering Dipper up as well onto his other shoulder.

There was another last click of a camera.

Stan couldn’t bring himself to care.

  


* * *

  


Years later when their parents would ask, voices filled with humour, whether he’d managed to find the ‘lion-monkey Stan’ he’d always tell them that he had no idea what they were talking about. He’d wave away their proof that he wasn’t as gruff as he made himself out to be, that there was evidence of him smiling genuinely with two small children hanging off his arms.

Little did they know that if you were to look on the back of the door to his bedroom you’d find a little girl’s well crumpled drawing and a small note from a young boy reminding him to ask a list of questions next time he saw some aliens.

If you were to find them and ask about them, he’d deny their very existence.

He promised himself he wouldn’t get attached.

As if that was ever an option for him.


End file.
